Diana F+ 2nd roll

i picked up my second roll of film today from being developed. A couple of fun shots of a farewell meal with the lovely Jane at Ping Pong. (The home of the delightful lychee and rose martini, also pictured). What I love is the how much fun we were having comes through in the Diana photos. Jane and Joe are leaving London to experience one of their dreams and live in Paris, how fab!

i love how the camera has created the opportunity for more creative adventures. On Saturday when the boy kicked me out the house to do a rehersal I caught a bus to go on a photo adventure, see shots below. I even took some B&Ws just waiting the week turn around time for development, v.exciting.

at the moment I am really enjoying how much time I am spending making, creating or pursuing something creative my fine arts course contributes lots to this and I love love learning. Studying and learnig new things regularly is so comforting to me and increases my happiness factor dramatically. Can I gush anymore....

does she have pets? New beginnings for the splendidly imperfect girl

be gentle be kind she is out for her first walk and she doesn't even know what she wears anymore. Does she have pets? Does her wardrobe need an update?

it is all new again and at the moment I am just playing and seeing what happens. It is so much fun to be drawing her again. She is far from perfect, she is living up to her name.

behold the splendidlyimperfect girl

she is on her way back, she is currently living in a new little sketchbook. More coming soon.

the perfectionism monster, thie Diana photos have arrived

excitedly this week I picked up my first photos from the Diana adventure. Even though I had agreed with myself that one good image per roll of film was my hope. In the unrealistic part of me I wanted the roll to turn out just like the amazing photographers I see online. Every image exciting and interesting, an intriguing version of my life. Amazingly the roll of film didn't turn out like a professional. My heart sank, I chastised myself. The reality is, I did get 2 images that I love, so the real me got what I wanted. It was another lesson in my riduculous high expectations of myself. Start something and be great straight away. I have got so much better with this but the monster in always just around the corner, ready to jump out. It really is sad that I do this especially when the Diana was all about having fun, not a thing to be perfect at. This camera and style of photography is all imperfectness that creates accidental magic.

Photo: Snapshot of Battersea Power Staion on the way to work from my commuter train.

i love that my creative pursuits teach me so much about myself, pulls me up when I am slipping into old behaviours that can be so limiting. I wiki'd perfectionism and here are the negative aspects:

In its pathological form, perfectionism can be very damaging. It can take the form of procrastination when it is used to postpone tasks ("I can't start my project until I know the 'right' way to do it."), and self-deprecation when it is used to excuse poor performance or to seek sympathy and affirmation from other people ("I can't believe I don't know how to reach my own goals. I must be stupid; how else could I not be able to do this?").

In the workplace, perfectionism is often marked by low productivity as individuals lose time and energy on small irrelevant details of larger projects or mundane daily activities. This can lead to depression, alienated colleagues, and a greater risk of accidents.[8] Adderholt-Elliot (1989) describes five characteristics of perfectionist students and teachers which contribute to underachievement: procrastination, fear of failure, the all-or-nothing mindset, paralysed perfectionism, and workaholism.[9] In intimate relationships, unrealistic expectations can cause significant dissatisfaction for both partners.[10] Perfectionists may sacrifice family and social activities in the quest for their goals.

Perfectionists can suffer anxiety and low self-esteem. Perfectionism is a risk factor for obsessive compulsive personality disorder, eating disorders, self harm, and clinical depression."

Photo: Catching the train on a lovely September evening.

goodbye crazy perfectionism, throw this perfectionism monster out the door. It is ugly and dark and can take me back to place I no longer want to visit. I find the timing so interesting as I have just been contemplating revisiting my splendidly imperfect girl concept, oh yes life does point us where we need to be.

beautiful photos of old Japan

the grace of the internet has delivered unto me a most beautiful photo stream on flickr with 1000's of vintage Japanese photos. This stream needs to be seen to be believed it is that of Okinawa Soba.

such an amazing collection of photos that are super inspiring with CC Creative Commons for those inspired to use them in art. There are lots of interesting comments and almost debate on flickr about the photos and the social commentary that Okinawa Soba adds. (I dare you to read his full profile. So real honest, so long and in a very lovely human way inspiring).



there is something about Japan I have always loved and I had never even seen anything as breathtaking as these photos. Not sure how or if ever they will become part of my art but I feel blessed to have discovered them, so much so I needed to share them.

5 mins until the train

argh, it is pre 6am not a good time for me. Off to catch train to Bristol and Cardiff today for my day job. The trusty Diana is coming with, so some possible great accidents will happen and I may get an exciting photo. I have given in my first film to be developed and I am very excited to pick it up on Thursday. Back to the days of waiting for your photos. I have no idea what they are going to look like I just hope for one reasonably interesting photo.

it has been big times, I have also started my fine arts course at City lit. So on Sat from 10-5pm I was life drawing. It was most excellent and I was super exhausted. It is going to be interesting to learn and keep gorwing and to see what comes from it. It is going to be lovely to have a sense of community and see people every week for a long period of time, there is 4 people in the course I already knew from Drawing Continued, it was lovely to know some faces.

fingers crossed I hear the results from my sister's tests today as well. What a big roller coaster. Better go, 20mins to be out the door.

my birthday

it was my birthday on Monday, hence I have been quiet and trying to make the most of all birthday cake moments. It was nothing like I planned, far from perfect and even some yuck news thrown in but in a very crazy, silly, way it was ok. If nothing else it has been reinforced lessons of late to let go of control and make the most of the way it is.

my sister went into hospital Monday so many moments my heart was racing in my anxiety of her being in a hospital bed far way from where I could be. She is progressing ok but still in hospital and will be there at least until next Monday.



so after mini birthday activities all weekend, my birthday culminated in a yum dinner cooked by my boy with lovely Mat over to continue to celebrations. I was very silly, selfish and childish all night after spending the day being responsible at work and travelling to Bournemouth for a meeting and returning with a small glimpse of the ocean.

after I got the news about my sister and my leave was cancelled by work I really questioned the value of being responsible. Where does it get us? So in a rash moment I bought myself a very lovely gift a Diana F+ camera. A retro plastic fun camera, with wind on film. Like something from my childhood but even more silly and great. With a million creative possibilities.

Official description,
Starting from scratch with an original 1960’s Diana camera, we pulled apart every tiny nook, cranny, gear and wheel to rebuild it from the ground up. Every quirk and “imperfection” was duly noted and reconstructed – yielding a lightweight beauty that handles and feels just like the original.



so I have a new love, I am excited about making blurry surprising and old fashioned images. I want to carry it everywhere and catch the random moments of my days. It is giving me a sense of great adventure and fun. I know it is only a silly camera but it has inspired me and makes me giddy with excitement.

check out the Lomography website and world of amazing things. I love the whole philosophy, I am converted!

i'll try not to evangelise too much I promise.

Working at being spontaneous

this painting hasn't been an easy ride. Focusing on being with myself and being spontaneous, walking away from my conditioning. Boredom and tiredness are always the sign of when I am lost. In the end something has happened, and an image has been painted. Neither right nor wrong, pushing through and sticking with it.

started Thursday evening, finished tonight Sunday 6th September

I remember the love for Michele Cassou

way back about 7 years ago a woman once again opened up painting to me, that was Michele Cassou. It wasn't in person, it wasn't her voice, it was her book. This book Life, Paint and Passion: Reclaiming the Magic of Spontaneous Expression which I picked up at Nature Care College in Sydney. It was while I was doing the Wild At Heart Course, which in reflection changed the direction of my path.

it was in that book that I was told I could paint for the joy, for the expression of any image I wanted. I remember the magic of reading the words and starting to make images and it was like someone had given me an incredible permission to create for no other reason other than my personal need. Michele gave back to me what studying art for the HSC at school had taken away. Making art at school gave me so much joy I could work all night and not feel it but my teacher was so negative about what I did that it really broke the confidence that I had my creating. 'Amanda is an enthusiastic student but I just don't like what she does' a comment to my parents. I remember my Mum asking me why I wanted to continue with the lack of support from my teacher. I responded with it is the one thing I love doing and studying I don't want to give it away. I did art for my HSC and despite my teacher when i got marked externally I did very well. But after that I gave it away for many years, I would tinker but nothing really. I had made a decision to get a business degree and my art slipped away.

Michele Cassou's book brought it back to me. I was 24 and I started studying counselling knowing I really wanted to work with people or somehow just knowing I wanted something different something more me...and the painting came back. First it was sheets of different colours then I started doing more and more. It is now nearly 8 years later and I paint nearly every day it has taken that many years to truly recognise and realise how much I need to paint and create. I feel incredibly satisfied with life when I paint, joy, happiness and a general calm.


photo: the only photo from my Paris painting dream

i always had a dream that I would do a attend one of her courses and 2 years ago I did. In Paris I was with one of her teachers in an apartment in Paris and it was wonderful. I have taken many more courses since then that are more about technique. Michele Cassou is all about process. Something very special and different. I go through the phases where I forget her amazing gift.


photo: favourite painting this week
This week I discovered her CDs that I ordered last year when I splashed out. I now have hours of her voice reminding me of her magic, her wisdom and the gift of spontaneous images of allowing what your instinct is telling you. Truly being natural! I have been listening to her on the tube, train and as I walk around London. It has brought me back to what is important to me. It gives me courage when I don't find it easy, it conflicts with every concept of 'art' in this contemporary world. But then I am rewarded with paintings that have a beauty of something I can't imagine.

for the love of Michele Cassou.

love for the 3 day weekend

this long weekend has been a respite from the world of work and crazy long life sapping hours. I have had fun with friends, spoken to my peeps in Aus, visited the tate to see Richard Long, slept, eaten too much good food, watched amazing dinosaurs, read the paper and spent many hours creating. I feel full again and a sense calm has returned, hopefully I won't return to my grumpy self that has visited in the last little while. I even have a tidy and organised studio that is open to million creative possibilities, this excites me greatly.

i have spent many hours this weekend exploring my digital tablet and photoshop and making images electronically it has been very satisfying manipulating my own drawings, sketches and photographs and bringing them together.

included is an image that has come from a head on collision with an issue that is bothering me at the moment, babies and people talking to me about it. I know something is up for me about it not sure what it is yet but I created an image that starts to explore it. The burning stuff is in my unconscious waiting to spill out so I have given it a place to do it. I don't know what it means it just is.




the 3 days are over, so back to work and my day job
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