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Working at being spontaneous

this painting hasn't been an easy ride. Focusing on being with myself and being spontaneous, walking away from my conditioning. Boredom and tiredness are always the sign of when I am lost. In the end something has happened, and an image has been painted. Neither right nor wrong, pushing through and sticking with it.

started Thursday evening, finished tonight Sunday 6th September

I remember the love for Michele Cassou

way back about 7 years ago a woman once again opened up painting to me, that was Michele Cassou. It wasn't in person, it wasn't her voice, it was her book. This book Life, Paint and Passion: Reclaiming the Magic of Spontaneous Expression which I picked up at Nature Care College in Sydney. It was while I was doing the Wild At Heart Course, which in reflection changed the direction of my path.

it was in that book that I was told I could paint for the joy, for the expression of any image I wanted. I remember the magic of reading the words and starting to make images and it was like someone had given me an incredible permission to create for no other reason other than my personal need. Michele gave back to me what studying art for the HSC at school had taken away. Making art at school gave me so much joy I could work all night and not feel it but my teacher was so negative about what I did that it really broke the confidence that I had my creating. 'Amanda is an enthusiastic student but I just don't like what she does' a comment to my parents. I remember my Mum asking me why I wanted to continue with the lack of support from my teacher. I responded with it is the one thing I love doing and studying I don't want to give it away. I did art for my HSC and despite my teacher when i got marked externally I did very well. But after that I gave it away for many years, I would tinker but nothing really. I had made a decision to get a business degree and my art slipped away.

Michele Cassou's book brought it back to me. I was 24 and I started studying counselling knowing I really wanted to work with people or somehow just knowing I wanted something different something more me...and the painting came back. First it was sheets of different colours then I started doing more and more. It is now nearly 8 years later and I paint nearly every day it has taken that many years to truly recognise and realise how much I need to paint and create. I feel incredibly satisfied with life when I paint, joy, happiness and a general calm.


photo: the only photo from my Paris painting dream

i always had a dream that I would do a attend one of her courses and 2 years ago I did. In Paris I was with one of her teachers in an apartment in Paris and it was wonderful. I have taken many more courses since then that are more about technique. Michele Cassou is all about process. Something very special and different. I go through the phases where I forget her amazing gift.


photo: favourite painting this week
This week I discovered her CDs that I ordered last year when I splashed out. I now have hours of her voice reminding me of her magic, her wisdom and the gift of spontaneous images of allowing what your instinct is telling you. Truly being natural! I have been listening to her on the tube, train and as I walk around London. It has brought me back to what is important to me. It gives me courage when I don't find it easy, it conflicts with every concept of 'art' in this contemporary world. But then I am rewarded with paintings that have a beauty of something I can't imagine.

for the love of Michele Cassou.

embracing what you don't like

i shared in post the other day that I don't like how flowers keep turning up in my paintings. It started after I read Margaret Olley's autobiography (which I loved, an australian painter). So Sunday without any caution I embraced what I don't like and just painted and here is what came out.



i am putting it out into the world. I don't want to be someone who paints flowers but then sometimes what we resist becomes bigger. So I am not resisting anymore.


so then my dislike for what feels like teenage self involvement started to be brought out in my painting.



you can't help but laugh, who knows where I will go now.

my room

this week work has sucked the life out of me and I am very happy to be sitting here on Saturday morning inspired by the 3days of weekend that stretch in front of me, time in my own space. Last night started with Jasper's birthday at a french restaurant in soho and now I wake make myself a a good coffee and be in my room

the place I live now in London is the first time I have ever had a dedicated space to making, my very own room that lives and breathes me. It has my lovely mac photos of my lovely peeps that live near and faraway, postcards of art that inspires, piles of books I am using for reference at current time........and at the moment stacks of paintings and materials out and about from some frenzied making last weekend. Looking at the photo Lawrence took last weekend while I was painting I realised how crazy it is right now. (I have also included some photos when it was fresh and new!) So today it is time for a organise while I move into the next phase. I start my fine arts course in 2 weeks and new phase

anyway first step, sort out my lovely space maybe put some news works out in the apartment do some reviewing and then clear the decks. Maybe even take all photos down and print some new photos of my peeps. It is my birthday soon so I guess I am starting to think of how this new age will be different, what do I want it to be full of ? Is there stuff I am currently doing that I would like to change to a new place and new habit.

so many big questions at the moment. What is art? What do I want mine to be about? Is it personal expression of my own dilemmas or the stuff that bothers me from the big bad world? I have much to say about so much, where do I begin. I don't want to be a just smart intelligent art for the educated... I have had a flash...I am going to start creating a wall of what i want it to be.... I will keep you posted.

p.s did I say I love+love my room, it is white with a skylight full of sun when London smiles. The only thingI dream of adding is a big arm chair for reading and contemplating.

inspired by Hazel

last week I had a hiatus as my day job took over. I am currently juggling two different roles and it takes up all my brain and creative capacity during the mon-fri week. It has been very sad to loose the hours I have gained lately creating in the evening. I have promised myself that I will put in a killer week at work this week just to get over some hurdles and then I am going back to my routine that I have developed. I don't want to be sucked into the work vortex.

i did spend hours at the tate on Saturday afternoon after a lovely breakfast at Lantana with the boy and Joe + Jane. I finally joined the tate and so visited Per Kirkeby again and wandered through the futurism exhibition. Sunday I worked on a ongoing work and somehow finished it for now. I have included the image, it feels brave to do it but I will.

in all of this Hazel Dooney an Australian artist I discovered only a few short weeks ago, her blog keeps me going. Her honesty and sharing I love. She blogs daily which feels like a respite even when I am being a business analyst or customer relationship marketing manager (depending on the day or hour).

ideas developing

developing something

Well I have taken a leap, at the moment I'm developing the tube sketches I have been doing. I am very inspired by the shapes, but I don't know really what I am doing.

Painting and drawing makes me feel so much more satisifed and happy yet it can be so painful and frustrating. Sometimes I feel like tearing at my own skin. Somehow it still lifts me up, someone once said 'painting connects me to the earth'.

So that is where I am, loving it, hating it, and needing to do it as much as I can. I don't really know what my making is about...I am just compelled to do it.

another medium, another self portrait v3 FINGER-PAINTING

this image is A1 in size and painted with fingers, yes that is right i said fingers. No brushes allowed, not even for mixing colours. Surprisingly the result is something interesting. Who said finger-painting is only for kids.....

painting and drawing a lamp

Sharing a creation that has turned out on the pleasing side. This creation started with me drawing in charcoal (inspired by my drawing class with Jayne Kay), then layers or acrylic, watercolour and gouche to boot. Lots of golden matte gel medium in between.  A big new step for me.

Creations are very subjective as I really liked the outcome but Lawrence really prefers my other type of work.  I have decided to progress this image with another version, try it out for size.  For no other reason than the joy of creating, painting and engagement I have with life when I am doing it.

This week on my commute I have been reading, M. Scott Peck classic the Road Less Travelled and it has reminded me of the value of therapeutic relationships and how healing comes in all sort of ways. For years I undertook many forms of self development, counselling, training to be a counsellor, NLP,  but nothing quite makes me feel so calm and content as a day spent creating.  Now I just have to work out how I can spend more of my life doing it.