Pursuit of happiness
Since forever, or that I means I don't know when I didn't think this, 'I just wanted to be happy'. There were moments when I had grand plans of what I thought would make me happy but really underneath everything when push came to shove my decision was I just wanted to be happy. This has meant when I didn't know which path to take, which step to make it was tough. I didn't have a clear framework or guide about wanting to be famous, or rich or chef or something specific I wanted a bit of everything and to be taller as well..
I wanted to be happy not because I want to bliss out and live in a hippy love world, more because it was in short supply when I was a little person. I guess I have always known from experience that life can be hard that it can break your heart and so I just wanted to be happy. On many days now, I have those moments I am incredibly grateful for life and feel incredibly lucky that the cards have fallen my way.Just like I have won the lottery that my life can be filled with so much good stuff. I still wonder how did I get here.....
Look some people would see my life as a little crazy, too full, too hard - I work too much; I don't sleep enough; I have time consuming art projects that suck all my time but in the end it is how i got to this point. I still feel bewildered that I got here really, that I don't have the tears that used to flow too often, the sadness, the fear and everything else. I know I have worked hard at it 'doing' and that I have come to accept that I need to compromise in my goals and be less self punishing but what makes it so.
I always want to learn more about the subject of meaning and happiness, so as a New Years treat when I was in Oxford I purchased three books:
The Social Animal - By David Brooks
Happiness - Lessons from a new science By David Layard
Is That Alll There is? Thoughts on the meaning of life and leaving a legacy By Julia Neuberger
I have finished the Social Animal and love understanding more about how we work as human beings how much is genetics, how much is environment, how our unconscious mind impacts who we are and what we do. This text also challenges the individualistic paradigm that the contemporary world is and starts to suggest some alternatives.
Happiness also challenges the current paradigm of individualism has put into words my own experience and makes me ever thankful for my Mum and Dad for giving me the big empathy button that has lead me to have so much of my life to be about making a positive difference to people's lives for my day job. To be kind and compassionate and to have a strong moral code, this scientifically has set me up to be a happier person.
Apparently, my art practice has given me meaning and long term investment is something that enables me to experience 'flow' time, an activity which you can get completely lost in in not ware of time. This too is a key factor to long term happiness according to the Social Animal.
So maybe not as much luck as I has imagined....... but I keep crossing my fingers as in a heart beat life could be different. For me now, I am going to challenge myself to create two side A4 with some of the learnings to help reinforce and remind me when I am unsure what step to make,
Maybe for you, Social Animal is a recommended read. Happiness a solid book but I am not sure it is 5 stars, it certainly gives some solid ideas on how policy can impact happiness overall and explores why we are richer but not happier as a western society so worthwhile.
Also you could check out the TED Talks By David Brooks, and I will let you know about the third book still to be read.
I wanted to be happy not because I want to bliss out and live in a hippy love world, more because it was in short supply when I was a little person. I guess I have always known from experience that life can be hard that it can break your heart and so I just wanted to be happy. On many days now, I have those moments I am incredibly grateful for life and feel incredibly lucky that the cards have fallen my way.Just like I have won the lottery that my life can be filled with so much good stuff. I still wonder how did I get here.....
Look some people would see my life as a little crazy, too full, too hard - I work too much; I don't sleep enough; I have time consuming art projects that suck all my time but in the end it is how i got to this point. I still feel bewildered that I got here really, that I don't have the tears that used to flow too often, the sadness, the fear and everything else. I know I have worked hard at it 'doing' and that I have come to accept that I need to compromise in my goals and be less self punishing but what makes it so.
I always want to learn more about the subject of meaning and happiness, so as a New Years treat when I was in Oxford I purchased three books:
The Social Animal - By David Brooks
Happiness - Lessons from a new science By David Layard
Is That Alll There is? Thoughts on the meaning of life and leaving a legacy By Julia Neuberger
I have finished the Social Animal and love understanding more about how we work as human beings how much is genetics, how much is environment, how our unconscious mind impacts who we are and what we do. This text also challenges the individualistic paradigm that the contemporary world is and starts to suggest some alternatives.
Happiness also challenges the current paradigm of individualism has put into words my own experience and makes me ever thankful for my Mum and Dad for giving me the big empathy button that has lead me to have so much of my life to be about making a positive difference to people's lives for my day job. To be kind and compassionate and to have a strong moral code, this scientifically has set me up to be a happier person.
Apparently, my art practice has given me meaning and long term investment is something that enables me to experience 'flow' time, an activity which you can get completely lost in in not ware of time. This too is a key factor to long term happiness according to the Social Animal.
So maybe not as much luck as I has imagined....... but I keep crossing my fingers as in a heart beat life could be different. For me now, I am going to challenge myself to create two side A4 with some of the learnings to help reinforce and remind me when I am unsure what step to make,
Maybe for you, Social Animal is a recommended read. Happiness a solid book but I am not sure it is 5 stars, it certainly gives some solid ideas on how policy can impact happiness overall and explores why we are richer but not happier as a western society so worthwhile.
Also you could check out the TED Talks By David Brooks, and I will let you know about the third book still to be read.
I hate being sick
So the third week of my holiday has been taken over by me being sick. I haven't been very happy about it and I feel like precious days have slipped through my fingers.
I have so few days when I am not working or have deadlines and then my body decides I am going to make you do nothing so that is all I have been doing all week.
I have been in a lovely location of Sandbanks to do it. So there was fresh air and water all around but I didn't really manage to do much at all. Now on the coach back to London and fingers crossed I think I have taken a turn for the better.
no art, no seeing shows, no sketchbook
just sleeping, coughing, a little bit of reading and some terrible old movies
I have so few days when I am not working or have deadlines and then my body decides I am going to make you do nothing so that is all I have been doing all week.
I have been in a lovely location of Sandbanks to do it. So there was fresh air and water all around but I didn't really manage to do much at all. Now on the coach back to London and fingers crossed I think I have taken a turn for the better.
no art, no seeing shows, no sketchbook
just sleeping, coughing, a little bit of reading and some terrible old movies
A week in Oxford
Photos from my Oxford week
not the normal snapshots of beautiful Oxford but I am not looking for the usual experience
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| The boy and moo cow behind Christchurch College |
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| Ghost Forest by Angela Palmer |
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| Pitt Rivers Museum |
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| 1 of 1000's lovely buildings |
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| Pitt Rivers Museum |
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| Pitt Rivers Museum |
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| 1 of 1000's lovely buildings |
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| Pocahantas's father Ceremonial Hanging via the Ashmolean |
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| 1 of 1000's lovely scenes |
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| 1 of 1000's lovely scenes |
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| Aegean figures via the Ashmolean |
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| 1 of 1000's lovely scenes |
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| Magdalen College |
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| Bellini from Jamie's Italian |
Inspiration via the Ashmolean
As part of living the boy's dream life and living with him in Oxford while he is on tour, today I visited two great places the Ashmolean Museum of Art and Archaeology and Pitt Rivers Museum. Inspiration on their own merits, and much more of the influence of Pitt Rivers later, I discovered the work of Angela Palmer.
Little did I know I would see two of her great pieces in my time in Oxford, Angela Palmer has done amazing things with Ghost Forest and Mummy. Her art is often a collision between science and art, often tackling environmental issues.
Angela has clearly had an amazing education at Oxford and Royal Academy of which I am a little envious and she has achieved technically, physically and emotionally beautiful work which is an inspiration.
There is something about a particular artist whose research and creations walks a fine line with science and research, anthropology, ethnography and art which really interests me. Artists like Susan Hiller, Mark Dion, Grayson Perry, Fiona Tan to name a few that are intriguing me.
Little did I know I would see two of her great pieces in my time in Oxford, Angela Palmer has done amazing things with Ghost Forest and Mummy. Her art is often a collision between science and art, often tackling environmental issues.
Angela has clearly had an amazing education at Oxford and Royal Academy of which I am a little envious and she has achieved technically, physically and emotionally beautiful work which is an inspiration.
There is something about a particular artist whose research and creations walks a fine line with science and research, anthropology, ethnography and art which really interests me. Artists like Susan Hiller, Mark Dion, Grayson Perry, Fiona Tan to name a few that are intriguing me.
Studio delights
One of the highlights of 2011 is finding a great studio to share with some very good friends and artists.
It has pushed to me and challenged me in: time management, priorities, ongoing routine of going to a place to create. It has been great just to be able to make something even just a mess and leave it to be there when you return, no more lugging stuff around and also not concerned when paint splashes everywhere.
I was delighted to see that a photo of our studio is being used to promote Bow Arts SE1 studios. Check out the second image in the 5 images used to promote SE1. In super hectic year I also managed to participate in the Open Studios, flickr has the full set.
It was interesting to hang and install my flags again and notice people's reaction and be able to talk to interested people about my work. A really good experience even if it was freezing cold and a little quiet on the Sunday. It is my nerdy, art geek that gets excited about a window of opportunity to see that my making and art will grow and continue. That I can be part of the broader community of people who are doing the same, ok act cool and nonchalant now, sorry I just can't.
I was delighted to see that a photo of our studio is being used to promote Bow Arts SE1 studios. Check out the second image in the 5 images used to promote SE1. In super hectic year I also managed to participate in the Open Studios, flickr has the full set.
It was interesting to hang and install my flags again and notice people's reaction and be able to talk to interested people about my work. A really good experience even if it was freezing cold and a little quiet on the Sunday. It is my nerdy, art geek that gets excited about a window of opportunity to see that my making and art will grow and continue. That I can be part of the broader community of people who are doing the same, ok act cool and nonchalant now, sorry I just can't.
Boxing Day words from Louise Bourgeois
I do reread the books, there are an inspiration an comfort, a pleasure and a luxury and when the TV box is on I often reading and flicking through an art book. Christmas break brings about the opportunity of time in mooching and in which I have read some fabulous words in the opening essay which seems so pertinent to what I am working on at the moment which I share below:
page 13
"....The lives and adventures of artists are traced by what they leave behind them: marks and tracks scattered over the terrain of images. It is on the basis of this set of imprints and fragments left over the course of time, in different spaces, that observers can read an account and a story 'written' by the human being who has used different and varied materials to reflect her vision as well as existence.........these things and events reveal multilpe meaning s connected to a personal and linguistic story, one that can be told as a posteriori by someone who has not shared this set of lived and recorded events.
...... So this observer does not set out aspire to set out a complete comprehensive and unifying discourse, but only aims to recount the partial story of artistic adventure ... a wrapper if not an actual garment.....a fragile like all the theoretical mirages and adornments produced by the art historian who tires to define 'destiny" of an artist but only succeeds in expressing his observation of the visible and the potential invisible corresponding to a view from the outside, not from the inside. "
p.s. this also justifies my love love of books and my purchasing and wish listing of them
Making meaning.... a Christmas experience
I have for the first time developed a sense of what Christmas means to me. A celebration that a year has passed and you still exist, you may share time with your own important people, food that is special and not often purchased is cooked, caressed and eaten. Joy given to others by contemplating their dreams and wishes and trying to give a gesture of that under a tree. Resting, eating sleeping reading chatting for no particular purpose or reason, the luxury of time.
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| the boy's christmas cooking 2010, YUM! |
It doesn't mean that our Christmas Day was what was planned either but all the same it challenged my sense of right or wrong, good or bad.
Then with the pleasure of time to actually contemplate, a lightbulb moment when I realised that I experienced tangible clarity on a day where I made my own meaning in contrast to my own going exploration making art, looking to explore how we as humans make meaning.
Current Work - Map - Part 2
A work in progress as part of White an extended project about my cultural identity being a white non indigenous Australian. The format and map is inspired by the map of language areas in Australia pre-colonisation ( ABC is Australia has a great interactive version of the map).
The map is something I discovered living here in London, it is interesting to me the perspective that living outside your own country gives you. It gives me an access to and space to explore my own culture's history and my identity within that.
This canvas is huge the size of my lounge room wall and incorporates drawing with Caran d'ache and I have carved stamps, experimenting with block ink to create the silhouette people recognising Governor Davey's proclamation.
I remember you - pages
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| I remember you - pages from the sketchbook |
A saying that I stitched on one of the flags in my previous work, and just like the memories of the man who inspired the work this saying stays with me.
Life in the UK
The other thing that is keeping me busy is studying for my life in the UK test. Filling my brain with useless facts and figures so I can pass the multiple choice test.....as a first step to applying for my indefinite leave to remain - aka permanent residency. I would have never guessed that I would live in London for five years. Sometimes it takes my breath away, where life has led me or where I have led my life.
So a 40 page form, lots of certificates, evidence and money and I may just be able to stay.
So a 40 page form, lots of certificates, evidence and money and I may just be able to stay.
Current work - I Remember You - Part 1
Participating in the Sketchbook project and this is my second attempt, the first time I didn't complete and send it off (yes this time it will be different).
I choose the theme I remember you - it is the last piece of work based around Dad's death. The final farewell in my art, that will be sent to another place to travel around the world and then live in Brooklyn.
I have until January 31st to have it completed, packaged and posted.
This is one of the three things I am working on and it is super exciting to feel them competing for my attention, driving me forward. Also a big reason why my poor blog has been neglected.
I choose the theme I remember you - it is the last piece of work based around Dad's death. The final farewell in my art, that will be sent to another place to travel around the world and then live in Brooklyn.
I have until January 31st to have it completed, packaged and posted.
This is one of the three things I am working on and it is super exciting to feel them competing for my attention, driving me forward. Also a big reason why my poor blog has been neglected.
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| I remember you - pages from the sketchbook |
many pieces of work in progress
+ plans to seek exhibition opportunity for flags
+ full of great things to be made
= good place to be with my art
= me happy
+ plans to seek exhibition opportunity for flags
+ full of great things to be made
= good place to be with my art
= me happy
save me from work(myself)
I need to take back my life from my work aka day job. Take it from the claws of my own tyrant of dedication and sense of over responsibility.
The date is marked I am on my way back.
inspiration Emilie Faif
Inspiration plus plus plus - discover Emilie Faif a french artist with wonderful sculptures made with textiles and fabrics, such a delight.
snippets from the exhibition
Some snippets from my first ever participation in a exhibition. After months of planning, a day of building the space, weeks spent organise printing, 10 hours of hanging we had a show. It looked pretty great and I had lots of fun.
It was great to experience people seeing my work in this context, installed into a space. I was also curious to see people see the work without knowing me.
I also loved seeing other classmates work come to fruition in the show after working with them for two years.
to Australia and back
image: first morning in Australia
Back in London I feel so brand new, starting at an 'official' new day job, the boy is his new dream job it feels like new beginnings.
My art is at the wobbly idea and playing phase again which is exciting especially as I will be working on it in a new space just made for making.
Australia was most awesome and it was lovely and sad to experience the beauty, love and belonging I have for the place.
my work - installing the work
Yesterday I spent 10 hours installing my work. I started at 10am and around 8.15pm when the lights were directed towards the flags I was done. Arms aching, feet sore and I was hungry. There were a few moments of laughter and almost tears when after 8hrs the struts fell down but I was very lucky when people jumped in to help.
After hours of stitching, months of work and 3 months of thought......it is done. I can't say right now if I am pleased, or happy or proud. When I see the people move through the space, if it catches their attention if I see people be interested, if it moves or delights then I can comment.
What I do know is that Dad is now is London and I know he would be happy and I have made it to the end of a process.
Currently stupid tired
I have reached the point of stupid tired again this week and it is Thursday morning; when you wake up from your sleep and you feel like you haven't slept at all. I know it is due to the completely hectic pace I am currently working at, with BIG BIG day job(which to my delight I am loving) and organising stuff for the upcoming Group Show. I volunteered to organise printing the programme and organissign schedule which sounds innocent enough but adds extras to my day. Add to that my ideas about wanting to have business cards(ordered), postcards(ordered) ad website(started last night with help from boy) ready for the show and I don't think I have stopped working before 11pm at night for the past month/s.
I did manage to fit in a weekend in Dorset that revived from previous month just enough to run the last mile.
On the countdown
One week away from being on a break from day job so I can focus on getting stuff sorted for the show and enjoy the process rather than running from place to place even in my own head.
10 days away from exhibition
11 days away from getting of jet plane back to Australia
